hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Houston, we have a squirter
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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