My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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