The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
