thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
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he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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