I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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