She went from zero to smokin in five shots
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
