I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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