Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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