physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
my nose is crying tears of wow.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
