Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
