also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my hands just texted you
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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