Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
