If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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