ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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