she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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