Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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