Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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