Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
