can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Welp...herpes.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
