Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize