I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Dear god my vagina.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
