I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
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Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
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I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize