Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
