Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize