Fuck appropriateness.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
