I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
