I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
