i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
the liver wants what the liver wants
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
