Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
