why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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