Your tits are I can't wait for
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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