I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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