Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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