Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
