dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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