new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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