She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I came so hard my ears popped.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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