The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
