she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
