LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.