Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  mustard is like jesus in yellow tights

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): mustard is like jesus in yellow tights http://tfl.nu/uvec
  Replies (9) Good night (1441) Bad night (660)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!

  (1-903): View more from Texas

  What does that even mean?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude! (1-903): What does that even mean? http://tfl.nu/qhna
  Replies (30) Good night (1228) Bad night (5140)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions. http://tfl.nu/m5qp
  Replies (67) Good night (764) Bad night (5732)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him. http://tfl.nu/18rr
  Replies (6) Good night (4378) Bad night (966)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt http://tfl.nu/jrki
  Replies (10) Good night (2935) Bad night (692)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard. http://tfl.nu/oj4g
  Replies (5) Good night (2116) Bad night (1018)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me. http://tfl.nu/lmi5
  Replies (5) Good night (1620) Bad night (1236)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  How about a mike?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Already had two of those

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day (617): How about a mike? (978): Already had two of those http://tfl.nu/wf5g
  Replies (4) Good night (1549) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos http://tfl.nu/v3p3
  Replies (4) Good night (1237) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it http://tfl.nu/orze
  Replies (7) Good night (1162) Bad night (864)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight http://tfl.nu/1hmk
  Replies (3) Good night (932) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I just got carded by a ten year old.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): I just got carded by a ten year old. http://tfl.nu/ytwr
  Replies (5) Good night (822) Bad night (866)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me http://tfl.nu/o6hs
  Replies (7) Good night (748) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni http://tfl.nu/9cx8
  Replies (6) Good night (436) Bad night (276)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?

  (1-479): View more from Arkansas

  Tequila.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): Know anything about my roof collapsing last night? (1-479): Tequila. http://tfl.nu/3wq7
  Replies (0) Good night (596) Bad night (227)

Randomize