Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
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i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
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I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass