Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks

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(513): View more from Ohio

You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.

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(810): View more from Michigan

I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.

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27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
Read it at the TFLN blog
(419): View more from Ohio

On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?

(1-608): View more from Wisconsin

I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.

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(775): View more from Nevada

The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.

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(631): View more from New York

But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking

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