did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Randomize