Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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