wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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