You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
