the day after is always just damage control
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
