thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
