dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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