i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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