I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
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Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
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My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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