meet me or not, i'm out of control
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
