remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
