Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
