I wannas sexs uuuuu
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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