During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
