Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Randomize
