youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
