why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
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