just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
