not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize