i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
