He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
