ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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